As parents, we all want our children to grow up confident and resilient, able to navigate life’s challenges with ease. However, building confidence in children can be a challenging task, especially in today’s fast-paced and complex world. In this article, Meems explores 4 simple ways parents can boost their child’s confidence. By incorporating these strategies into your parenting routine, you can help your child develop the self- esteem and resilience needed to succeed in life. So, let’s build confidence in your child!

Confidence is an essential component of a child’s healthy development. When children have confidence, they are more likely to try new things and bounce back from setbacks. They are also more likely to develop positive relationships with others, communicate effectively, and make better decisions. Confidence helps children develop a sense of self-worth and identity, which can provide them with a solid foundation for success in school and later in life. As parents, it is crucial to help children build confidence by providing them with love, support, and opportunities to learn and grow.

1. Encouragement and Praise: Not Just Achievement

Praising effort and achievement are both important in helping children develop confidence. However, there is a significant difference between the two. Praising achievement focuses on the end result or outcome, such as getting an A on a test or winning a game. While praising effort focuses on the process or journey, such as the hard work, determination, and perseverance that went into achieving the result. Praising effort helps children develop a growth mindset, which emphasizes the importance of hard work and resilience. It also teaches children that success is not just about getting the right answer or winning, but about the effort and work that goes into achieving their goals. When parents focus on praising effort over achievement, they can help their child develop a sense of self-worth that is not tied solely to outcomes. 

An article in Psychology Today, The Power of Praise in Building Confidence, references a study of 28 middle schools where students were praised by their teachers more than reprimanded. The study found that the more teachers praised, the better academic engagement children had and the more successful they were on exams. Similarly, when parents praise their children, they help foster skills and mindsets to engage in parent-child relationships and build secure relationships, self-esteem, and confidence.

Here are a few ways to best implement praise into your household: acknowledge the process; when you see your child putting in effort, acknowledge their hard work and dedication by saying something like “I see how hard you worked” and “I’m impressed you stuck with that even when it was hard.” These statements can reinforce the idea that effort is important and that things can be hard, but the reward is worth the effort. Next, celebrate the process. When your child has made progress towards a goal, recognize it and celebrate it.

2. Encourage Exploration and Independence

Exploration and independence can be a way to boost confidence in children. When children are given freedom to explore and make decisions on their own, they develop a sense of autonomy and agency over their lives. This can help them build self-esteem and feel more capable and competent in their abilities. When children are encouraged to take risks and try new things, they learn that failure is a natural part of learning and not something to fear. Having that experience can help them develop a growth mindset and resilience to recover from setbacks. By fostering independence in children, parents can help them develop the self-confidence they need to succeed in life.

A few ways parents can encourage exploration and independence around the home include giving children opportunities to make decisions for themselves. Allow your child to decide what to wear, what breakfast to eat, and give them chores around the house like feeding a pet.  Giving older children the autonomy to choose what extracurricular activities they want to participate in lets them develop their own sense of identity. As the Child Mind Institute notes in their article, How to Build Independence in Preschoolers, it is important to ‘set a predictable routine’ because it can allow children to anticipate their day and be better equipped to take on tasks independently.

3. Teach Problem-solving Skills

Problem-solving skills are an important part of helping children become more self-sufficient and parents can help build these skills by helping their children think critically. When a problem comes up, parents may ask their children questions to think through the issue and develop a plan of action. It is important for parents to resist the urge to solve the problem for their child. Teaching them how to solve a problem will give children confidence in their ability to overcome obstacles. Simple problems, such as finding a lost item, is a good opportunity to urge your child to solve a problem for themselves. You can ask probing questions like, when did you have it last? However, it’s important  not to go looking for the missing item with them.  

4. Model Confidence and Resilience

Parents can model confidence and resilience by showing their child how to handle challenges throughout the day with determination. When facing a difficult situation, you can talk with your child about your thought process and how you work through the problem to find a solution. Parents can also model self-confidence by believing in their own abilities and express their belief in themselves by communicating their own positive thoughts. When children see their parents model confidence and resilience, they are more likely to internalize these qualities.

A few examples of how parents can model confidence and resilience to their child is using positive self-talk. Show your children how you can reframe negative thoughts. For example, say “I’m not perfect, but I’m still capable of finding a solution.” Demonstrate to your children that you can take calculated risks by going outside your comfort zone even though you might fail. Talk about the good things in your life to help your children reframe their thoughts and find the positive aspects of hard situations.

Being able to boost your child’s confidence can have a critical impact on their emotional development and influence their overall success and happiness in life. Children with high levels of confidence are more likely to handle challenges, set and achieve their goals, and form healthy relationships. Parents can help build their children’s confidence by  encouraging them to take risks.. Modeling that confidence for your child will also have a big impact on the children’s own beliefs about themselves and their ability to overcome obstacles. To help a child form a healthy sense of self-confidence is to help them become more successful, independent adults.

Christine Russell Janis writes about life as a mom of four kids, living abroad, and travel on her life & style website ashadeofrose.com. You can also follow on social media @a.shade.of.rose.